With overgeneralization people take a few instances of a certain outcome and use those instances to make wide generalizations about how life is. For example:
"That doctor wasn't empathetic or helpful. No doctor will be able to help me! It's useless to keep going back for appointments!"
A more helpful, rational statement might be something like, "That doctor wasn't very helpful. I will either make another appointment with that doctor and try again or get a referral for a second (or third) opinion until I find a doctor that I am comfortable with. My well-being is worth putting out the time and effort."
Mental filter is the next cognitive distortion I would like to discuss. With mental filter we focus on negative aspects of an event or situation while ignoring the other equally valid aspects of the event. This is like a single drop of ink tainting an entire glass of water.
An example of a mental filter distortion would be, "I had a fibro pain flare-up and I was in pain at my grandson's birthday party. The whole thing was ruined!"
A healthier, more self-preserving belief would be, "It's too bad I had to leave right after the cake was cut due to my pain, but it was so great to give my grandson a big hug and see his face light up when he opened presents. It wasn't perfect but I was glad to be there."
A person emailed me privately regarding this series and asked in essence how to adjust to a new life with chronic pain or illness after the "old" you is gone. This sort of depends on many factors but using a cognitive distortions perspective, I would encourage that person to explore what distortion is causing the most distress. For example-if you lose a bunch of weight you are no longer the "old" you but this situation is a happy, exciting one.
I would guess that there would be some all-or-nothing or mental filter distortions going on. For example,
"I was always happy before and I will never feel that way again." or
"I have a very miserable life since my diagnosis. I don't see an end to this."
More helpful and just as real thoughts would be,
"I had challenges before that took time and adjustment to learn to cope with. I will learn to cope with my pain until I can rid myself of it."
or
"I still have some great things in my life-a loving partner, good friends."
A great self-help book that is along the lines of cognitive therapy is:
Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
As always this blog does not substitute the real, in person therapy that a trained doctor or mental health clinician can provide. If you are currently suicidal please call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.
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